Share the Moon
by emeraldblood9
Summary: When Merlin's mother becomes ill, he decides he must return to Ealdor in order to care for her. Arthur's reluctance to watch Merlin leave causes him to become aware of his buried feelings for his friend. Arthur/Merlin Slash


**Share the Moon**

Arthur's face was being licked. Merlin was laughing.

"Apparently, this is very funny to you, Merlin," Arthur managed to say struggling to move away from the eager puppy dog who was giving him the tongue bath.

"He's a married man, you know," Merlin told the dog, laughing so hard he was wiping tears away from his eyes.

Arthur tried to speak while keeping the dog at bay. "I fail…to see…the humour… in this, Merlin."

Merlin laughed louder.

They were in the castle gardens with the little puppy, taking it for an early morning walk. Normally Arthur let the servants handle the animal, but he thought he should build some kind of relationship with the mutt, especially since Queen Eleanor gave it to him as a gift of peace on her recent visit to Camelot and she would soon be returning.

Finally, Arthur managed to pull himself away from the dog. He handed it to Merlin and was deeply annoyed by the fact that the puppy sat obediently in Merlin's arms. "Why is it you find this so entertaining, Merlin?"

"It's just, in the year or so you've been married to Gwen, I never thought another female would take your heart in this way."

"Very amusing. Look, that dog was a gift from Queen Eleanor. I don't even want it, let alone like it. But the Queen would be highly upset if I were to get rid of it."

Merlin was cradling the dog, suddenly stroking it in an over affectionate way. Arthur frowned. "What are you doing?"

"You hurt her feelings," his servant said in a pouty voice.

"God in Heaven!" Arthur rolled his eyes. "Dogs do not have feelings!"

"Of course they do," Merlin defended, holding the pup up to his face so that it looked at Arthur. The King looked from the dog to Merlin who also had his best 'puppy-dog eyes' expression on his face. If the dog didn't melt his heart, Merlin certainly did.

"Oh, come on then," Arthur gave in reaching back for the puppy. Merlin looked triumphant.

Arthur brushed his manservant's hands as they exchanged the dog back into Arthur's arms. The two men met eyes and held each other's gaze for a few powerful seconds. The King then shook his head and Merlin laughed.

"You have not won anything here, Merlin. I simply took the dog back because I do not need to waste time fighting with you. I'm an important man and have many, very important matters to go and attend to."

"Whatever you say," Merlin conceded holding up his hands in surrender. Arthur watched the other man's eyes wander affectionately over his own face. He allowed the puppy to resume licking his face and neck and could not help smiling sheepishly at the young man in front of him.

"Not a word to anyone, okay?" Arthur whispered loudly, petting the pup.

Merlin nodded with a slight wink and a grin. "Your secret is safe with me."

Arthur felt the usual flutters of _something _inside that he always felt when he was with Merlin. But as usual, he disregarded it as something he didn't quite understand.

ooOoo

That afternoon, Merlin entered Arthur's chambers with a solemn look on his face.

"What's the matter, Merlin?" Arthur joked, "Had a fight with your puppy friend?"

Merlin laughed but only out of politeness, it seemed. Arthur could tell Merlin was actually very upset.

"What's wrong?" he asked his manservant in a serious tone that said he knew this was no laughing matter.

Merlin hesitated and then finally said. "I've received a letter from Ealdor. My mother is sick."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Merlin," Arthur responded sincerely. "I suppose it must be serious for you to have received a letter."

Merlin nodded. "I was wondering if Gaius and I could ride to Ealdor, see what we can do to help?"

"Of course, Merlin. Of course."

"Thanks, Arthur."

The two men stared at each other for a moment. Merlin looked as if he would say something else but then nodded and headed for the door.

"Send my regards to Hunith, won't you?" Arthur called.

"I will. Thank you again." Merlin closed the door.

ooOoo

Merlin and Gaius were gone for almost a week. Arthur had George filling in for Merlin in his absence. George had replaced Merlin once before and Arthur had secretly missed his manservant terribly. This time was no different, he was ready to have Merlin back after only one day of George. The man was even more boring than he remembered.

Arthur had spent several days with George now and was wondering how much longer he had to wait for Merlin to return. It was evening time and Arthur was preparing for dinner with George's efficient help, but tedious company, when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes," he called.

Merlin came inside and Arthur felt his heart skip a few beats at not having seen him for a while. "Merlin, you're back!" he stated. "How is your mother?"

"Uh…" Merlin looked to George.

"Excuse us, would you please, George," Arthur said waving a hand at George. The earnest man bowed and left the room quietly.

"Still full of laughs?" Merlin questioned nodding his head in the direction George had just taken.

"It's painful, Merlin. Though, my chambers are cleaner than normal and I've never been so organised."

They laughed a little awkwardly.

"Your mother?"

"She's… dying," Merlin's voice cracked. "Nothing Gaius could do. He said she has months, maybe a year left."

Arthur didn't accept defeat easily. "Well, what does she have? Surely, somebody can do something to help her."

Merlin looked grateful for Arthur's strength but then shrugged. "She's ill, Arthur. A disease. Some people just die."

Arthur looked to his friend. He wanted to tell him how brave he was but couldn't speak the words.

Merlin floundered for a minute, trying to find the words to say something. Arthur knew he didn't want to hear it. "This means… I'm going to be leaving Camelot to go to Ealdor to care for her. I don't want her to be alone at the end of her life."

Arthur nodded but the words hit him hard at the realisation that the man in front of him, who brought him so much joy, would be gone from his life. He swallowed, trying to think of Merlin and not himself. "I understand, Merlin." He took a deep breath and asked the inevitable, "When do you leave?"

"At first light," Merlin replied. "I only came back to Camelot to… say… goodbye."

"This is the last time I'll see you then?" Arthur felt panicked and a little desperate. He had no time to get used to this idea. He so badly wanted to go back to that morning when they were playing with the damn puppy.

Merlin shifted uncomfortably, "We will keep in touch, Arthur. I can still visit…"

Arthur nodded. He couldn't believe it. Merlin was leaving him, after all this time. He understood why Merlin was going but he felt like the floor had been taken out from underneath him and he was falling into darkness.

"Well…" Arthur tried to lighten the moment. "I _suppose_ I'll miss you." He scrunched up his face as if to say he may or may not really miss his friend.

"You'll only miss me because you loathe having boring George spending seven days a week with you."

They laughed. "Well, yes that's true," Arthur smiled. He couldn't let him go without being more honest than that. "In all seriousness though, Merlin, I will miss your company."

His servant looked touched. "Me too."

Arthur continued, looking closely into the other man's eyes. "I will miss your council and friendship… and… whatever else it is we have."

Merlin looked a little surprised but nodded slightly. They held each other's eye as they both let it sink in what Arthur had just admitted. Neither of them had ever acknowledged out loud that there was something more between them before. He felt a strange twinge in his chest as Merlin's eyes held his own. The young man in front of him seemed to be able to look into his soul.

Arthur noticed that Merlin had tears forming in his eyes and he desperately held back his own tears from forming. What should he do to say goodbye? He was so unsure. How did they leave each other after everything they had been through together? A handshake? A hug? Arthur was not used to giving hugs. They stood slightly awkwardly for a moment.

Before he could decide, Merlin moved in closer to embrace him. Arthur allowed it and they held each other tight. Their faces were touching and it felt so intimate. Arthur gave Merlin a few slaps on the back, just to have something to do to distract himself from how much this hurt. Arthur heard his friend's shaky breaths as he obviously held back his tears and then he felt Merlin's lips press quickly against his cheek close to his ear, then another kiss on his cheek closer to his mouth, then one more in quick succession, this time placed upon his lips.

When his servant pulled his face away, Arthur exhaled a breath against Merlin's mouth and leaned against the dark haired man's forehead. The two men still held each other, Arthur's hands on his friend's upper arms, Merlin's on Arthur's sides. "Goodbye, Arthur," Merlin said quietly, the emotion clearly evident in his hoarse voice.

Arthur nodded as the tears threatened to come. He couldn't speak. He swallowed over the lump in his throat feeling Merlin's breath against his face. He soon felt the young man's hands slide off his waist and Merlin was walking to the door. As he opened it and took a final look back, they nodded at each other and Arthur felt his chest tighten to see tears falling down Merlin's cheeks. As his friend walked out, Arthur heard a sob escape the other man's mouth. The King felt a tear trickle down his own cheek and then Merlin was gone.

Arthur's tears suddenly came down hard and he fought the impulse to run after Merlin and beg him to stay. These tears were completely out of character for him and he wondered why he should feel so strongly about this. His mind returned to the feel of Merlin's soft lips against his and he instinctively reached up to his mouth to feel the place where Merlin had left his kiss. He tried to understand why his whole body felt so alive in that one moment. Such an unexpected thing for Merlin to do but certainly not unwelcome.

Arthur allowed himself a few more quiet tears but then splashed water on his face and put on his strongest 'King face' and headed to dinner.

That night as Arthur lay in bed, his mind would not forget Merlin. He resisted the urge to go and see him again. He knew he was still here in Camelot and could not bear the thought that he may never see him again. People often spoke of keeping in touch, but rarely was it carried through. He fell into a very restless sleep.

At first light, Arthur was awake in bed. Merlin would be leaving now. Arthur looked over at Guinevere, sleeping soundly next to him and then he quietly climbed out of bed and went to look out of his window, desperate to catch one more glimpse of Merlin. After a few minutes, he saw the young man walking through the courtyard, a bag carrying his few possessions was slung over his shoulder. Arthur's heart actually hurt to watch his friend leaving.

Suddenly Merlin turned and looked straight up at the King's window. He stopped short when he saw Arthur standing there. Arthur placed his hand against the window breathing hard. He watched Merlin put a hand over his heart. Time stood still for a few moments as they watched each other. After a short time, Merlin gave Arthur a slight wave then turned and walked on without looking back until he disappeared from Arthur's sight. Arthur couldn't help the tears falling again. Merlin was gone.

ooOoo

Arthur was grumpier than he'd been in a long while after Merlin left. All he wanted to do was think of that last exchange with Merlin and he felt that anyone speaking to him was interrupting his thoughts. He spent an awful lot of time with the stupid dog who he had now personally named Merlina. He spoke to her as if she were Merlin sometimes and figured he must be going insane. In the light of day, it was hard to even believe all that had happened between himself and the other man.

After a few weeks, Gaius mentioned to Arthur that he'd received a letter from Merlin. When Arthur kept asking about it, the physician raised an eyebrow and said he'd show the letter to the King. Arthur followed Gaius back to his quarters and nodded in appreciation when the older man handed it over. He walked over to the window to read it in the light and smiled when he saw Merlin's familiar handwriting.

_Dear Gaius,_

_Hope this letter finds you well. It is very strange living in Ealdor again. My mother is still much the same as when you saw her a few weeks ago. I am doing my best to care for her but I fear she is getting worse. It isn't easy Gaius. _

_I sure miss you and your stews. I'm doing all my own cooking here, but some of the villagers bring us something different every now and then. I hadn't realised how used to living in a big city I'd become. Things are a little quiet here. But, I suppose it's nice. It's simple._

_Give everyone my love. Hope Arthur and Gwen are well. Tell Gwaine he still owes me money._

_Take care Gaius and please write back and let me know how everything is back in Camelot._

_With love,_

_Merlin._

Arthur found himself rereading it after he'd finished it. Lingering over the part where Merlin wrote Arthur's name. Smiling when he thought of Merlin missing the city.

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur smiled returning the letter to the physician.

"I have written a letter back, of course," Gaius said with a heavy heart. "I tried to give him some words of encouragement. It is never easy to have to watch a parent get ill. As you would well know, Sire."

Arthur nodded. He still hated to remember how frail his father had been near the end. He couldn't bear the thought that Merlin was going through all of that without him. "He's a good man, Gaius."

"That he is, My Lord."

Arthur thought of Merlin constantly over the next few months. Far more than he rightfully should have. He missed him more than he had ever missed anyone before.

ooOoo

About three months after Merlin had left, Arthur found himself riding out to Ealdor one day. He had told Guinevere and the members of the court that he would be gone for a few nights and thankfully nobody questioned him or required an explanation. He was the King and they accepted that he must have something important to do.

He made camp on his way there and pondered seeing Merlin. Three months seemed like a lifetime when they were used to seeing each other every single day. It was odd, but he felt nervous, unsure how things would be between them after the way they said goodbye.

He felt excitement as his horse brought him into the village of Ealdor. Arthur had travelled without the Pendragon crest, nothing to show he was of nobility. Just a traveller finding a bed for the night. No one gave him a second glance. He rode straight for Hunith's house, leaving his horse in her barn and knocking upon the old, worn door.

His heart beat heavily in his chest as he heard footsteps inside approaching the closed door. When the door opened, he smiled widely to see Merlin's face light up with joy. "Arthur!"

"Hello, stranger."

"Oh my God!" Merlin exclaimed. They laughed and Merlin patted Arthur heartily on the back. "Come in, please." The bright, young man guided him inside.

Arthur put his bag down inside the door, also removing his gloves and looked up to see Merlin's big grin. He reached out and shook Merlin's hand. "Good to see you, old friend."

"You too," Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "I'm shocked. What are you doing here?"

"Can't a friend visit a friend without being interrogated?"

"Sorry… I just…it's… it's good to see you, that's all."

Arthur nodded trying to understand why his insides were doing backflips. They smiled at each other for a few crazy seconds. Both of them grinning from ear to ear.

"You must be thirsty," Merlin guessed.

"Yep," he licked his lips.

"I'll get you some water then."

Merlin gave his King a drink and then brought him in to see Hunith. She was more ill than Arthur expected and he felt such warmth toward Merlin when he saw his friend caring for his mother, looking out for her and giving up so much of himself to be there for her.

He sat with Merlin while he prepared the dinner watching his friend move about with a smile on his face the whole time. It warmed his heart to be with Merlin again. This feeling inside of him had definitely been missing these last few months. Merlin brought Hunith to the table to eat dinner. Arthur could see that she still had her sense of humour and her fighting spirit and knew that her son must get those traits from her. Afterwards, Merlin helped her back to her room to rest.

Later on, Merlin lit the fire while Arthur poured the wine he had brought for them. They sat on the rugs on the floor in front of the fireplace, Arthur in his white travelling shirt, Merlin in his dark blue tunic. Both comfortable, they had removed their boots and were just in socks, their feet rested lightly upon each other.

"You're doing an amazing job with your mother, Merlin."

"She's my mother," Merlin shrugged. "You did the same for your father when he was ill."

"Yes Merlin, but I had a whole staff of servants to help me. I did not cook for him, nor change his bed sheets, not to mention all the other things I fail to even realise it is that you do."

"Still… you know what it feels like to see your parent become so helpless. So reliant on others when once they were so strong… so resilient."

They met eyes, relating to each other's pain. "Indeed. It is not an easy road to travel." Arthur remembered his father and still felt some discomfort inside to think of him toward the end. He pushed the feeling away and made an attempt to change the subject.

He handed Merlin his wine and held his own up. "To old friends!" he declared chinking his cup against Merlin's.

"To old friends," Merlin repeated softly.

They sipped their wine and Merlin asked, "So how's George going?"

"Oh, he's alright I suppose," Arthur laughed. "I guess I'm getting used to him."

"So he's not so boring anymore?"

"Not boring? The man talks for hours at a time about rodents."

"What does he say about them?"

"He talks about the consistency of their droppings, Merlin."

"Charming."

"He's a good man though. Loyal, obedient and hardworking."

"So… everything I'm not then," Merlin laughed, drinking down more wine.

"Hey, you were always very loyal, Merlin."

They smiled over their cups as they drank. Arthur was enjoying this. He'd never sat and spent time with Merlin like this as a friend before. Right now, Merlin was not his servant. They were just two friends, enjoying a drink together and a laugh. He could see that Merlin was more open, more relaxed. He felt an enormous amount of respect for this man in front of him and enjoyed learning more about him.

Arthur had never known much about Merlin's personal life. He learned that Merlin had met his father once, but then he had died soon after. He had also been in love at one time, but she too was killed. He couldn't believe Merlin had been through these things and he had not been a friend enough to notice. Now Merlin was mostly gone from his life and he felt that he had taken all his time with his close friend for granted while he was in Camelot. He wished he could make it up to him.

As the evening continued, both men were feeling very relaxed sharing their stories and opening up to one another. Arthur thought it strange that the kiss had happened and neither of them had mentioned it or even acknowledged in any way that it had transpired. Arthur wouldn't even know what to say about it. Instead he tried for funny.

"Merlina's missing you," he told Merlin.

"Who's Merlina?"

"The puppy," Arthur laughed, a little embarrassed to be sharing this news with Merlin.

"You named her Merlina?"

"Yes, because she reminded me of you. At first, I couldn't stand the little pest, but then after time, she grew on me and became my best friend." Arthur gave his friend a knowing look.

Merlin tilted his head to the side and stared over at his King with a soft but penetrating look on his face. Arthur felt Merlin's eyes burn though him and he quickly looked away. "So, what do you miss most about Camelot?"

"Erm…" Merlin thought for a moment then said with a cheeky smile, "Gaius."

"After Gaius?"

"Gaius' meals."

"Okay, but that's included with Gaius. What else do you miss?"

Merlin thought again and said mischievously, "The tavern."

Arthur threw the closest thing at Merlin's head which was his boot. Merlin just ducked it in time also saving his drink from spilling over.

"Miss anything else?" Arthur smiled foolishly and batted his eyes. He had missed Merlin teasing him like this. Missed their banter more than anything else.

"Um…Nope!"

"Not a certain King?"

"Oh… the King. Don't miss him at all. All I did was scrub his floors, tidy his chambers and follow him around. He was an arse."

"Merlin!" Arthur kicked Merlin's feet. The other man kicked back and they both knocked feet for a while laughing like young boys and forgetting everything else in the world right now. All their cares, all their responsibilities flew out the window.

"I missed this," Merlin said seriously when the laughter died down. They held each other's eye, their feet still entangled. Arthur lightly bumped Merlin's feet. It wasn't like young boys playing anymore though. It was almost like a lovers game, their feet knocking against one another gently. Arthur felt his cock react when Merlin's foot rubbed sensuously over his own. They stared at each other dangerously. It lasted far too long.

They were both breathing harder when Merlin suddenly turned his head and started talking about village life. It took several minutes for Arthur to lose his erection and steady his breathing. This was insane.

In Merlin's room, Arthur looked at the little, single bed. "I'll take the floor, Merlin," he told the other man.

"Of course, you won't. You're the King!"

"Still, I don't want to impose, Merlin. You've got a lot going on here."

"Arthur, get in the bed."

"If you insist," Arthur smiled. He hadn't really fancied sleeping on the floor.

Arthur was already dressed for bed wearing his undershirt that he travelled in. However, he saw Merlin wander over to a shelf and grab a nightshirt. He watched his friend pull his tunic up over his head, and felt a twitch in his groin to watch the muscles in Merlin's back. He urgently wanted to see the front and searched for a reason for him to turn around.

"This looks comfortable," he said pointing to the pillow and forcing Merlin to turn around to see what he was referring to.

"It actually is deceptively comfortable," Merlin explained. Arthur's eyes tried to keep Merlin's but he couldn't help glancing down at the man's chest feeling himself getting hotter. As Merlin raised his arms and pulled the shirt over his face, Arthur hurriedly took in the young man's sexy body. When Merlin casually pulled the shirt down, Arthur looked away self-consciously and climbed into bed. He wondered why the hell he was thinking of Merlin in this way.

Merlin blew out the candles and set himself up on the floor with a few pillows and blankets. "You comfortable, Arthur?"

"Fine, Merlin. Your bed is fine." He suddenly felt strange lying in Merlin's bed and his mind wandered to what the dark haired man might sometimes do in it. He wished he would stop thinking so ridiculously. The moonlight filtered in through the window and Arthur could just make out Merlin's features in the low light.

"Goodnight, prat," Merlin smirked up at him.

Arthur laughed in spite of himself. "Goodnight, idiot."

The other man chuckled to himself.

About twenty minutes passed where Arthur had not found sleep yet, when he heard Merlin rustle around on the floor and look up at him. The two men met eyes in the dark and just stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time. Arthur's eyes had adjusted to the darkness and Merlin's eyes looking up at him were so clear.

"I miss you," he heard Merlin whisper in the darkness, emotion evident in his breathing.

"I miss you too," Arthur whispered back smiling softly in the pale light.

Merlin gave Arthur the sweetest expression and then rolled over. Minutes later, Arthur heard the soft breathing that told him Merlin was asleep.

He wasn't quite sure how a King ended up sleeping in a remote village in a single bed, whispering sweetly to his servant in the darkness of the night. He didn't want to think too much about it right now and he fell into an easy sleep.

The next morning after breakfast with both Hunith and Merlin, Arthur prepared to head back to Camelot. He said his goodbyes to Hunith and then Merlin accompanied him to the barn as Arthur loaded his horse with his pack. Arthur hated leaving and didn't want to say goodbye to his old friend again.

"Keep in touch," Arthur punched Merlin's arm.

"I will, I'll send a letter."

"Yes, and you can address it to me. Do not just send your letters to Gaius."

"Or you could write to me," Merlin suggested with sparkling eyes. He smiled with his lips together causing Arthur to return the same kind of smile.

"I could do that, couldn't I?" Arthur said reaching out to shake Merlin's hand.

"Safe journey," Merlin wished him shaking his hand.

"Thank you, Merlin." Arthur replied, but then instead of getting straight on his horse he said. "I know Ealdor and Camelot are not too far away from each other, but… it still feels like you and I are too far away, right?"

Merlin nodded, smiling fondly at his friend.

"I mean…" Arthur continued, "I guess I'm used to you being right there with me all the time and... well… I don't know what I'm trying to say," he laughed. "It just seems like you're so far away now." He knew he was rambling.

"We could always share the moon," Merlin suggested causing Arthur to look at him with confusion. Merlin just smiled in his sweet way.

"What does that mean?" Arthur laughed.

Merlin licked his lips and spoke. "Well, the next time the moon is full at nightfall, you could go outside and look up at it. I'll also go outside here in Ealdor and look up at it, and then… we will both be looking up together at the moon." He ran a hand through his hair and added, "Share the moon."

Arthur felt emotional all of a sudden and gave his friend an appreciative look. He looked at Merlin's lips and remembered the feeling of them pressed against his own. When he lifted his eyes back to Merlin, he saw that the other man was also staring down at his own lips. Merlin's eyes met with his but darted back to his lips again. Arthur wanted to kiss him so badly but he couldn't bring himself to carry it out.

He placed a hand upon his friends shoulder and squeezed it tight. He felt Merlin's hand on his waist, also squeezing him back. They stared at each other, just taking in each other's features. Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat to be standing so close to this man. God, why did he have to leave?

Merlin's lips trembled a little and Arthur saw his eyes becoming watery. The dark haired man nodded quickly and let go of his King. Arthur was unable to speak the words 'goodbye.' He cleared his throat and climbed on his horse. As he rode away, he had a horrible pain in his throat. He was holding back those damn tears again.

ooOoo

Life carried on, as usual in Camelot. Arthur thought often of Merlin and the night in Ealdor. He found himself thinking about Merlin in ways he never had before. He didn't allow his mind to run with it. Something told him that thinking of Merlin in this way was only leading him to a dangerous place. He knew he would see Merlin again, he wasn't entirely sure when. He still didn't know exactly what it was between them but he was sure Merlin was feeling it too.

When the moon was full, Arthur excused himself from a meeting, telling the court members he had something important to do. He headed out to the rooftop hoping nobody found him and he could be alone. As night fell he gazed upon the moon with the image of Merlin on his mind. He smiled as he imagined Merlin, right now, standing near the barn, looking up at the sky, thinking of Arthur. His heart beat fast with emotion. He felt full of feelings he couldn't comprehend and images of himself with Merlin that he did not let his mind focus on for too long.

How could he be feeling these strange things? He stayed on the rooftop, lost in dreams and allowing himself to have fleeting thoughts about his close friend. He knew there was something powerful buried inside him but knew he was in no position to allow these feelings to surface.

He sighed and blew a kiss to the moon. "Miss you, Merlin." He took a very deep breath then headed back to the life he was now finding somewhat mundane.

The next day, Arthur's mind was still obsessing about Merlin and he made some time to sit and write a letter to him. He started many times and changed his mind about what to write but finally settled on a few carefully chosen words.

_Merlin,_

_Hope things are faring well with Hunith. I know you would be helping to minimise her suffering. She is lucky to have a son such as you._

_Things are pretty ordinary here. What can I say? It is mostly non eventful._

_Everybody misses you._

_Full moon last night. You see it? I went up on the roof. Thought about what you said. Was nice._

_Hope you are good. Write back._

_Arthur._

That was all he could manage. He wasn't actually very good with words. He disguised his own feelings by saying 'Everybody misses you' and he spent about ten minutes trying to decide whether to sign it 'King Arthur' or just 'Arthur'. That would have to do.

He waited eagerly for a response and was pleased when a week later he received one. He locked himself in his chambers and lay down on his bed unfolding the letter, feeling like he was love sick but quickly pushing that feeling away. He noticed his hands shaking a little as he read but ignored that too.

_Dear Arthur,_

_So wonderful to hear from you. _

_My mother is much the same as when you were here. I fear she suffers more than she admits. To see her smile, you would believe that she is in no pain at all. I am fortunate indeed to have a mother like her._

_I find it hard to believe that Camelot is uneventful. Compared to the very quiet life I am living here, I am sure it is not as dull as you think. You are probably just used to the activity._

_I miss you all the time, Arthur._

_I went outside and looked at the moon that night. I somehow sensed you were too. I felt in many ways as if you were right next to me. Wish you were._

_Try not to get too bored without me._

_All my love,_

_Merlin._

Arthur felt his heart beating faster. He sat up on the bed and reread the letter about thirty times_. _

_I miss you all the time, Arthur. _Merlin had clearly read between the lines and seen that Arthur wanted to say he missed Merlin. His friend was a lot braver and better with words than he was.

The fact that Merlin had said he wished Arthur was there next to him left Arthur feeling giddy.

And he had signed it, _All my love. _

Arthur did not understand the effect these words were having on him. He was confused but didn't want to overthink it too much. It made him feel good and that's all he wanted to think about.

He waited a few days then wrote back. He wanted to speak more from the heart this time. Merlin was the bravest man he had ever met. He risked both his life and his heart for what he believed in. Arthur was inspired.

_Dear Merlin,_

_Thank you for your letter. It really touched me._

_You are by far the most courageous man I have ever known. I feel that what you and I have is very special._

_I always knew there was something about you, Merlin…._

_I miss you too, and think of you often._

_With love,_

_Arthur._

Arthur was in high spirits waiting for a letter back from Merlin. He told no one that he had any contact with Merlin. He wasn't really sure why. He only knew that it felt very personal.

The next letter came soon enough. It was short, but very sweet.

_Dear Arthur,_

_Thank you for your letter. I was surprised._

_I also feel that there is an exceptional bond between us._

_It is hard to be apart._

_Just remember that we always have the moon._

_Much love,_

_Merlin._

Arthur closed his eyes and conjured up the image of Merlin's face in his mind. It made him feel peaceful and happy. He kept the letters hidden in the lining of one of his bags. He took them out and read them every now and then, marvelling at the way they could make him feel.

He often closed his eyes in the middle of a meeting or even a break in training and conjured up that image of Merlin. Just knowing he was somewhere else thinking of Arthur made life feel better.

The next few full moons had Arthur out on the rooftop full of sensations. Merlin was the person who had helped him survive the last few years. Losing his father, Morgana turning evil, his uncle betraying him and so much more. He could not have gotten through any of it without Merlin. In fact, he knew that Merlin was his survival.

ooOoo

One evening as Arthur was helping Guinevere on with her necklace, doing up the clasp on the back, there was a knock on the door. "Yes," Arthur called fixing the clasp and turning toward the door. He could hardly believe his eyes when Merlin poked his head inside.

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed loudly.

The young man smiled at him. When their eyes met, Arthur was sure he could feel himself lifting off the ground. His body reacted in the most ridiculous way. His palms became sweaty, his heart beat faster, he even felt dizzy. What the hell!

"Merlin!" Guinevere called running up to the dark haired man and jumping into his arms.

He caught her and they gave each other a warm hug.

"It's good to see you both," Merlin grinned, letting go of the Queen and looking over at Arthur with a nod.

"Likewise, Merlin," Arthur said. It was hard to believe Merlin was here in flesh and blood. Arthur had imagined him so many times it almost didn't seem real.

"How long has it been since you left?" Guinevere asked.

"Oh…over six months," Merlin replied, placing his hands on his hips.

"Wow… Arthur can you believe it has been that long since we have seen Merlin?" his wife asked him shaking her head.

Merlin quickly looked over at Arthur, confusion evident on his face. Arthur had told nobody about his visit to Ealdor or the letters with Merlin. He knew it would seem strange to Merlin that he had omitted this information from Guinevere. He couldn't even explain it to himself.

"How's your mother?" Arthur asked changing the subject.

"I'm afraid she has declined a fair bit. It is a matter of time now."

"Oh Merlin. I am very sorry to hear that," Guinevere sympathised.

"Is there anything we can do?" Arthur asked.

"No, but thank you. I left her with a close friend, so I am only here for one night."

"You'll dine with us then," Arthur suggested.

"Sorry, Gaius is making my favourite," Merlin tilted his head to the side.

"Oh, that's lovely," Gwen commented.

"I'll come and see you after dinner then," Arthur told Merlin.

Merlin nodded and gave Arthur a look that made the King feel a tingling sensation in his body… among other things.

He listened to Guinevere and Merlin catching up, keeping his eyes upon his friend the whole time. It was so nice to see him. He felt flickers of excitement every time Merlin looked his way. He smiled openly at him and had strange reactions in his chest whenever Merlin smiled back over at him. He looked at his feet just to make sure they were still firmly planted on the ground. Merlin had him feeling like he was flying.

ooOoo

After dinner, Arthur made his way over to the servant's quarters to see Merlin. He spent some time talking with Gaius and Merlin before the court physician turned in and the young men made their way into Merlin's room promising to keep the noise down.

They smiled somewhat tentatively as they sat opposite each other on the bed. Arthur had brought some wine over and poured another goblet for Merlin now. He knew that Merlin had already had a few drinks while they sat with Gaius and he liked the way Merlin was becoming slightly more floppy, his eyes betraying him as they watched Arthur without inhibition. It made the King feel a strong wanting feeling which he wasn't sure came from his groin or his heart. Perhaps both.

The conversation flowed easily between the two men. Arthur felt so cheerful just to be in Merlin's company. He started to realise just how much this special man meant to him. They caught up on everything each other had been doing and Arthur could not ignore or deny the fact that he was definitely attracted to this man.

He wasn't sure why he asked Merlin, but he heard himself say, "How's your love life going, Merlin?"

Merlin grinned and held up his hand, "You're looking at it!"

Arthur laughed easily but felt himself getting slightly aroused at the thought of Merlin using that hand to pleasure himself. "No sweetheart waiting for you back in Ealdor then?"

"Afraid not," Merlin shrugged.

"Must get a little lonely," he suggested.

Merlin nodded and Arthur felt himself getting even more aroused to see the vulnerable expression on Merlin's face.

Merlin surprised him with his next question. "How come you didn't tell anyone you came to see me in Ealdor?"

Arthur struggled to find an answer and Merlin laughed.

"I don't really know, Merlin."

The dark haired man's eyes burned through him and Arthur realised all of a sudden that he loved and desired Merlin. It was so obvious. How could he never have seen it before? Truth be told, he probably was aware of it but just had not admitted it to himself on a conscious level. This was not the time to be making such revelations about himself, but there it was. He loved him.

Merlin was taking him in with eyes of longing, sitting across from him waiting for an answer. Arthur wondered if Merlin felt the same as he did.

"I guess… it didn't feel like anybody else's business," Arthur explained.

Merlin ran a hand through his hair nodding.

"Also our letters… I uh… I kept that to myself as well," the King admitted.

"Felt private, didn't it?" Merlin said quietly and licked his lips. Arthur watched the action with fascination.

"Yes it did. Mine may have been a bit short and sweet. I'm not very good with words."

"I think you did pretty well."

"Yeah?" Arthur asked, knowing that his eyes were revealing his feelings to Merlin. He could feel the air shift between them both. The attraction between them was unmistakable.

"Yeah," Merlin breathed. He broke the penetrating stare between them to look down at his drink. He then swallowed the rest of his wine and avoided Arthur's eye announcing, "It's late."

Arthur just sat there. He didn't want this evening to ever end.

"I've got an early start tomorrow," Merlin said standing.

"Okay," Arthur replied also standing up but making no attempt to leave. He stood there just staring at Merlin, fidgeting while trying to find an excuse to stay with Merlin just a bit longer.

Merlin laughed awkwardly, "Alright?"

"I uh… are you not going to get dressed for bed?"

"Yes I will…"

"How about I help you undress?" Arthur suggested wondering what the hell he was saying. "You know… like a role reversal… as if I was your servant." Arthur knew how lame it was but he wanted… no _needed_, Merlin right now. "How 'bout it?"

"Why not?" Merlin responded holding his hands out to his sides.

They looked at each other dangerously, both of them knowing that they were right next to the line that they were not supposed to cross. Arthur felt the effect of the wine telling him to just do what his heart desired. He looked over at Merlin, noticing the other man's breath hitch as Arthur started walking toward him slowly.

He stood in front of the dark haired man and placed his hands on the hem of his tunic. Merlin squirmed and when he met the King's eyes, Arthur knew he couldn't resist Merlin, even if he had put all of his energy behind it. Arthur let his fingers find their way to Merlin's skin, letting them lightly brush his friend's stomach under his shirt. Arthur felt his own cock immediately become rock hard as Merlin breathed deeply, his eyes wandering over Arthur's lips and face.

Merlin lifted his arms up, the action making Arthur's cock throb. _God! He was so fucking sexy_! He held his arms in the air waiting for Arthur to remove his tunic. They stared at each other as Arthur pulled the shirt up over the gorgeous, young man's head.

As soon as it was off, Arthur threw it aside and ran his hands over Merlin's chest. Merlin moaned softly and wantonly. In the low candle light, his skin looked golden, Arthur felt his own heart beating hard and was hypnotised by Merlin's slightly wet, beautiful lips.

"Arthur…" Merlin started.

Arthur wasn't sure if Merlin was going to protest or not but he didn't think he could walk away now, so he silenced the young man with a kiss. When Arthur touched his lips to Merlin's, both men groaned in unison, their mouths opening, their tongues meeting and their breathing deepening as they found relief in the kiss. Both of them needing this so much and for so long now.

Merlin's hands wandered over Arthur's face and hair while Arthur felt the hot skin of Merlin's chest against his palms. Merlin kissed him more passionately than he had ever been kissed in his life. He had never felt such a strong yearning for release before.

He kept expecting Merlin to stop this. He knew he should stop it himself, but then he felt Merlin's hands come up under his shirt, pulling it off and then running his fingers over his skin. He stopped thinking altogether and just enjoyed how incredible this felt. Merlin's hands dipped into his trousers, the touch of his hands on Arthur's arse causing him to groan loudly and grind his erection against Merlin. The dark haired man's own erection, solid and hot against Arthur's.

Arthur's mouth and tongue trailed Merlin's jawline and he kissed his way to Merlin's neck, taking a moment to nip and bite him. Merlin would be gone tomorrow, headed back to Ealdor. Arthur sucked the skin on Merlin's neck into his mouth, giving him a visible mark so that his friend would have the evidence of this night branded on him for days to come. They paused and looked into each other's eyes. Arthur saw the pure lust in those eyes and wanted more than anything to satisfy this man. Make him come so hard, bring him so much pleasure.

He pushed Merlin down on the bed, climbing on top of him, smiling at him devilishly. Merlin's smile was cheeky and Arthur kissed those upturned lips, licking at them and relishing in the filthy way Merlin responded with his tongue. The two of them rutted against one another while their tongues delved into each other's mouth. Arthur was blown away by what Merlin could do with that tongue.

The blonde man then ran his mouth over Merlin's chest, delighting in Merlin's soft moaning. He did not hold back letting his lips explore every inch of him.

He undid Merlin's laces and tugged down his trousers looking up at Merlin. The young man was watching, waiting to see what Arthur would do next.

Arthur put his mouth around Merlin's gorgeously hard, hot cock… and sucked.

"Fuck... Arthur... Fuck!" Merlin breathed, writhing on the bed.

Arthur smiled up at him before mouthing him again. He had never done this before but had received this pleasure from others so he had an idea about what he should be doing. He ran his tongue over the length and let himself get carried away in the fucking incredible feeling of having Merlin at his mercy.

He enjoyed Merlin's soft moans, his deep, heavy breaths and the sound of the dark haired man whispering his name with such lustful tones. Merlin's hand came down to run through Arthur's hair every now and then and Arthur felt his own cock straining against his breeches dying for release.

After only a few minutes, Merlin whispered, "I'm coming, Arthur." He came apart then, breathing heavily, his body shuddering, his eyes shutting tightly. Arthur let Merlin's hotness into his mouth and swallowed it down enthusiastically as he revelled in watching the dark haired man enjoying this moment of pure ecstasy. It felt so intimate to know Merlin had come in his mouth and he actually liked the taste of him.

Arthur smiled at the younger man as he caught his breath and laced his breeches back up. "Fuck!" Merlin whispered smiling and shaking his head with awe.

Arthur could hardly contain himself as he anticipated that it was his turn next and those sexy lips would soon be all over his cock. Merlin sat up and with a mischievous grin, he pushed Arthur down on the small bed and started to kiss down Arthur's chest, moaning softly and lustfully.

Arthur could not take his eyes off the gorgeous man in front of him. An intense pressure was building inside of him and he needed to release it. "I want to feel my cock in your mouth, Merlin."

The other man groaned as he undid Arthur's trousers. First he fisted Arthur's cock, running his hand up and down the shaft, causing him to cry out loudly.

"Shhhhh," Merlin laughed quietly, motioning to the door to indicate that Gaius was out there sleeping.

Arthur bit his lip and tried to keep his moans as discreet as he could. When Merlin's mouth covered Arthur's cock, Arthur couldn't help but call out again, "Fuck, Merlin!"

Merlin smiled around his cock which only made him look even sexier and Arthur breathed through the pleasure, bucking his hips a little and fucking into Merlin's mouth.

Arthur was already getting close to coming but when he felt his cock going deeper and deeper into Merlin's mouth he knew he was truly on the edge. He looked down at the dark haired man, lips wrapped around his cock, head bobbing up and down, his cock hitting the back of Merlin's throat and he couldn't help himself from calling out again loudly.

Merlin, pulled away from Arthur's cock and laughed. "Shhhh," he said again.

"Then you shouldn't be so fucking good at this," Arthur breathed.

Merlin sucked Arthur's cock back into his mouth and again deep throated him until Arthur could take it no longer. He didn't warn Merlin that he was coming, as the other man had done, he just threw his head back and groaned along with his release. He looked down at Merlin as he pulled his mouth away from Arthur's cock and then licked his lips after swallowing Arthur's release.

"Fuck, you're sexy!" Arthur panted, still coming down from his orgasm.

Merlin gave him a cheeky smile which also made him look somewhat shy and Arthur had the urge to throw Merlin down on the bed and do it all over again.

Arthur laced up his trousers and they both sat closely on the side of the bed with their arms touching, not looking at each other. Neither spoke for a few minutes and then finally Merlin pushed against Arthur's shoulder with his own and looked over at him. When Arthur looked back, his heart beat furiously to see the intense expression on Merlin's face. It could only be described as love.

"I wish I could hold you all night," Arthur said quietly his voice sounding hoarse.

Merlin exhaled deeply, his expression thoughtful as he ran a hand over Arthur's thigh. "Me too."

Arthur stood, knowing that he could not stay with Merlin tonight. "I should go." He grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on, Merlin stood and helped pull it down, keeping hold of the hem as they faced each other. They just let their eyes wander over each other's faces, unsure when they would see the other again.

When Merlin let go of Arthur's shirt, Arthur smiled sadly and whispered, "Another goodbye." He ran the back of his fingers lightly over Merlin's chest.

Merlin gave him a pained look and Arthur nodded and got out of there before the tears started again.

ooOoo

After that, Arthur felt such a strong connection with Merlin. It felt like the most special thing in the world to him. However, he had many thoughts about what he was doing to Guinevere. He loved her dearly and his feelings for Merlin didn't change that. He definitely felt an enormous amount of guilt knowing she would be hurt. He wanted to blame the wine for what he had done but knew he would have done it all again without any wine.

He pondered whether he should tell Guinevere but he was unsure of what good that would do. He reasoned that what Guinevere didn't know couldn't hurt her. If he told her then it would seem as if what had happened with Merlin was sordid and he couldn't bear to think of it in that way when it had felt so special, so…magical. He wasn't ready to share it or discuss it. He wanted to hold it close to his heart.

Arthur needed Merlin. Needed him in a way he didn't need anyone else. Merlin was his survival.

He felt that no one but Merlin and himself could ever understand what they had together, even Guinevere.

He loved them differently and couldn't quite put his finger on what it was that made the love so different. He cuddled his wife regularly over the next few weeks. He was so confused. How could that amazing night be wrong? He was sure it wasn't.

Merlin meant the world to him. That was all he could hold on to right now.

ooOoo

Three weeks after Merlin had visited Camelot, a letter from Ealdor arrived. Hunith had passed away. Arthur desperately wanted to be at Merlin's side supporting him. Many others felt the same. Gaius, Guinevere and a number of knights who were close to Merlin all rode with Arthur for Ealdor.

As Arthur journeyed to the little village, he thought only of Merlin. He was suddenly unsure what to expect when he got there. Merlin would be grieving, maybe feeling regrets of his night with Arthur. The last time they had seen each other had been so intimate. Now there would be many people surrounding him, giving their sympathies. Arthur didn't know how to conduct himself. Merlin had been his… lover. He was suddenly very nervous and by the time they rode into the peaceful community, Arthur had worked himself into a panicked frenzy.

Merlin came out of the house to greet them as they dismounted their horses. Gaius was the first one to walk over to the grieving man. He took Merlin in his arms and just held him. The others held back, making themselves busy seeing to the horses and talking quietly to each other. Arthur removed his gloves and tucked them into his pack. After a long embrace, Gaius and Merlin parted.

"Are you alright?" Gaius said softly cupping Merlin's face in his hands.

"I'm alright, Gaius," Merlin responded with a brave smile. "We knew this was coming."

Arthur's heart beat wildly in his chest as he watched the others all go over and hug Merlin. Guinevere was first followed by Gwaine, Leon, Elyan and Percival.

Arthur waited until they had all given their sympathies then stepped over to the young man and shook his hand. When their eyes met and their hands touched, Arthur felt the strong connection between them once again. They looked at each other with longing. Arthur was no longer worried that Merlin felt regret. His eyes showed so much love and affection toward his King that Arthur's head was spinning.

"My deepest condolences, Merlin," Arthur offered in a formal but warm voice.

"Thanks, Arthur," Merlin said pursing his lips together, smiling and nodding. Arthur hoped the others didn't see Merlin's obvious expressions of affection but he secretly loved it. He loved that in his friend's pain, he could make those eyes shine so bright and those lips curl up with a smile. He would give up the Kingdom to see that smile.

The service for Hunith was beautiful and Arthur shed some tears when Merlin spoke about her. He was definitely sure that he would never ever again meet a man as brave as Merlin. It was a bit of a spectacle having the King and Queen of Camelot, along with a handful of elite knights at the service but everyone tried to remain respectful of the fact that today was about Hunith.

Afterwards, they all headed back toward Hunith's house for the wake. Arthur saw Merlin go on ahead of everyone and he followed quickly, eager to have a moment alone with the young man. As he entered the house, he quietly walked over to see Merlin in Hunith's room, bed sheets in hand, ready to make the bed as his Camelot guests would be staying here the night.

Merlin had his head down and was having a quiet cry. The King pondered whether or not to make his presence known, but then when he heard a sob escape Merlin's lips, he knew he wanted to be there to support him. He walked up behind him and put his arms around his friend's waist, holding him through the tears. Merlin leaned into him gratefully. After a minute, Merlin tossed the sheets on to the bed and turned to Arthur.

"She was just lying in that bed a few nights ago. She never will again. I miss her so much already."

Arthur swallowed over the lump in his own throat as he watched Merlin wipe his tears away. He didn't have the right words to say. "It's going to be alright," he tried, stepping closer to Merlin and placing a hand on the dark haired man's shoulder.

They looked at each other for a few seconds and then Arthur placed a hand on Merlin's face and gave him a soft but brief kiss on the lips. Merlin held on to Arthur's hand on his face, his eyes focused only on Arthur's lips. "Thanks," he said so quietly, Arthur barely heard it. Merlin leaned over and gave Arthur another quick kiss on his lips. Arthur's mind couldn't help thinking about those soft lips and how good they felt but he knew now was not the time to be having these thoughts.

They kept their hands together as Arthur dropped his hand away from Merlin's face. Merlin looked down at their entwined fingers and absentmindedly played with Arthur's ring, spinning it and running his slender fingers over Arthur's.

Merlin chuckled and shook his head to himself. Arthur was delighted to hear him laugh. "What's funny?" he asked catching Merlin's eye.

"I'm just…" Merlin began and shook his head again. "I'm just so inappropriately attracted to you right now."

Arthur laughed loudly, he rubbed his thumb over Merlin's wrist. "Glad I'm not the only one," he told the other man.

He heard the front door open and slowly backed away from Merlin, smiling apologetically. He picked up the sheets on the bed as he saw Guinevere and Gwaine's face appear in Hunith's doorway.

"What's this?" his wife asked looking between the men with a smile.

"Arthur was just going to help me make the bed," Merlin told her.

Gwaine raised his eyebrows to Arthur. "The princess doing domestic chores. Now I've seen it all."

Arthur pushed him lightly against the chest. "Don't be cheeky," he grinned at his knight.

Gwaine grinned back wickedly. "Well, go on then," he urged folding his arms.

"I doubt he even knows how to make a bed," Merlin chimed in laughing and leaning against Gwaine.

Arthur looked at Merlin with a frown and the dark haired man gave him a small shrug.

The other knights had all made their way in now and waited with amused expressions to see their King embarrass himself. Arthur unfolded the sheet and tried to spread it out over the bed. He heard snickers among his men.

"That's okay," Guinevere said coming to his rescue and turning the sheet around the other way. "I will help you, Arthur. Show's over boys."

"You're no fun," Gwaine pouted pinching Gwen's side.

"Let's leave the King and Queen to make the servants bed," Elyan laughed.

"Off you go," Guinevere laughed shooing them out of the room.

"You don't have to make the bed, Gwen," Merlin said looking way too guilty for Arthur's liking. "You're a Queen."

"Nonsense, Merlin. I will never be too royal to make a bed, nor too important to help out a friend when he needs it."

Merlin hugged her tight looking over her shoulder at Arthur. They looked at each other despairingly and Arthur knew Merlin felt as bad as he did.

As he made the bed with his wife, Arthur was mentally beating himself up.

"You are very quiet, Arthur," his Queen observed.

"Just thinking," he replied running a hand through his hair.

His wife looked at him for a long moment. For a second it felt like she knew it all, like she was reading his mind.

"This must bring up memories of your own father," she suggested. It felt as if she were letting him off the hook.

"Yes, I suppose. And your father?"

"Death is never easy," she commented with a small smile. They carried on making the bed in silence.

That night after all the guests had left and it was just the Camelot crowd, they all sat together talking about stories from Merlin's childhood with his mother. Gaius and Guinevere soon retired for the night, leaving Merlin and Arthur with the knights having a few drinks and sharing some laughs. Gaius was sleeping in Merlin's bed, the King and Queen had Hunith's room, and the knights would all lie about anywhere they would fit.

Arthur didn't talk much at all. Despite everything going on, Merlin's mother passing, the guilt he felt with Guinevere and the fact that he was away from his Kingdom, he still wanted Merlin. He watched him from across the table and felt drawn to him like an invisible force was pulling them together. Merlin was so sexy in his grief and Arthur found himself more and more _inappropriately attracted_ to him.

That same feeling hit Arthur as the one he'd had that night in Merlin's room. The wine… or the invisible force… was telling him to follow his heart's desire. "Come for a walk," he said to Merlin motioning with his head to go outside.

Merlin smiled a little too enthusiastically and the other's watched them leave. He didn't know what they were thinking. Most likely that Arthur found it hard to comfort Merlin in front of people and so wanted to be alone with him to help.

"You alright?" Arthur asked as they walked through Ealdor.

"I'm fine," Merlin smiled his goofy grin and Arthur felt content inside knowing his friend was going to be okay.

They walked closely together out of the little village and into the nearby woods. Merlin ran a hand over Arthur's back as they walked. "Full moon," he pointed to the sky.

"So it is," Arthur responded, pulling Merlin to a stop and holding him close. Merlin leaned his forehead against Arthur's and closed his eyes.

"This is what I was imagining on all the other full moons when we were not with each other," Merlin whispered. "You and I together like this."

Arthur kissed Merlin lightly on the lips, but soon he felt a gentle brush of Merlin's tongue and he laughed, allowing his own tongue to lightly dance with Merlin's. Their arms wrapped around each other and they soon kissed breathlessly. Arthur was excited to feel Merlin's lips on his once more.

Merlin kissed with a gentle desperateness tonight and Arthur knew Merlin was seeking comfort in the kiss as well as pleasure. He ran his hand through Merlin's hair and heard his lover moan quietly.

He pulled back to look at Merlin for a minute, the image before him almost stopped his heart. Merlin was breathing heavily, eyes full of lust and need, he looked between Arthur's eyes and mouth, his own lips wet and parted.

"You okay?" Merlin asked in a deep, quiet voice.

"You're beautiful, Merlin."

He felt Merlin's hand glide up from his back to his neck. The dark haired man grabbed his neck tightly and pulled the King's lips to his once more.

Merlin kissed him more forcefully now, moving his groin into Arthur's and grinding himself against him. Arthur's cock, already hard, became even harder, pressing against his breeches and causing him to moan out Merlin's name.

Merlin sucked Arthur's tongue into his mouth and his hands slid underneath the back of Arthur's shirt. Merlin was breathing so heavily now, his breath so hot, Arthur could see he was utterly lost in the moment. He felt himself getting to the point of no return too and without knowing why, he backed off from Merlin.

Merlin looked so sexy, standing on his own now, trying to calm his breathing down, frowning at Arthur with confusion.

"I just want to know what happens now," Arthur panted, also trying to slow his breathing. "Will you be coming back to Camelot with us tomorrow?"

"Arthur, you know I can't. Not after what has been happening between us. You must know how I feel about you."

"You think I'm an arrogant arse," Arthur joked because he was scared of where this was going.

Merlin laughed. "No… well, yes… but, I mean, I'm crazy about you, Arthur. It was hard enough keeping that to myself before, but now… I don't know if I even could."

"I know what you mean, but the alternative is that we hardly ever see each other, and I do not think I can live with that either."

Arthur moved back in close to Merlin and they held on to each other's waists. They looked at each other for the longest time and Arthur knew that no matter what else happened he could not lose Merlin.

"Well..." Arthur ran a thumb over Merlin's lips, "How about I come and live in Ealdor with you." He meant it. He meant every word and he could see that Merlin knew that.

Merlin kissed his lips and chuckled. "Arthur, you call me an idiot. That could _never _work, for sooooo many reasons."

"Well, I'm crazy about you too and I don't want to live without you," he admitted backing Merlin up against the nearest tree and kissing him forcefully. "Say you'll come back," he whispered.

Merlin looked at him with a small smile, running his hands through the blonde man's hair. "You are the most insane King I have ever met."

They laughed together kissing lightly. "I miss you," Arthur breathed into Merlin's mouth.

"I miss you too." Merlin's hands cupped Arthur's face.

Arthur slid his hands up underneath Merlin's tunic feeling his smooth chest. One of Arthur's palms came to rest against his skin, he could feel Merlin's heartbeat beneath his fingers.

"Your heart is beating so fast," he told the dark haired man moving his lips to ghost Merlin's.

Merlin's breath deepened as he spoke quietly against Arthur's mouth. "That's what you do to me, Arthur."

Arthur lost control in that moment. He pushed his body against the other man's pressing Merlin up against the tree and he kissed him with such untamed passion that he just knew their lips would be swollen and they would have to try to hide the evidence of their affair.

Merlin groaned loudly, his hands travelling down to Arthur's bottom as he squeezed it and pulled Arthur to him.

Arthur's hands wandered down from Merlin's chest to his breeches and he undid the laces and freed Merlin's gorgeous cock, already leaking pre-ejaculate. He undid his own laces and liberated his own cock from the material of his trousers. He held both Merlin's and his own cock together and began to pump them both.

The two men looked into each other's eyes as they moaned together getting closer and closer to the edge. Merlin's hand came down to take over and he glided his hand so effortlessly between the two cocks as he kissed Arthur's lips. Arthur was mesmerised by how sexy their two cocks looked together.

"So close," Arthur whispered against Merlin's face.

"Me too."

A few more strokes and Arthur could barely hold on any longer. "I'm going to come."

"Yes," Merlin groaned and Arthur let himself go at the same time as Merlin, both coming simultaneously.

They leaned against each other, breathing hard. "That was incredible," Arthur said raising his eyebrows to Merlin.

"You're gorgeous, Arthur," Merlin responded kissing Arthur softly on the lips in the pale light of the full moon.

ooOoo

On the way back to the house, Arthur didn't want to ruin the night but he still hadn't received an answer in regards to Merlin returning to Camelot. "So, does this mean you'll come back?" he tried. Merlin stayed silent. "What about Gaius?" Arthur pouted. "You're just going to abandon him?"

"That's low," Merlin laughed. "Well, if I come back, I can't be your manservant."

"Please, Merlin," Arthur said it jokingly but he really meant it. "Please," he added for extra effect. He was prepared to get down on his knees and beg for this.

"On the condition that we put all of this behind us," Merlin gestured between the two of them.

Arthur didn't want that. He couldn't put this behind him. It was too special. He knew Merlin would not be able to as well. He was aware that Merlin felt terrible for doing this to Guinevere, as did he. He would have to deal with that once they were back in Camelot. "Okay," he agreed.

"You promise," Merlin smiled.

"I promise," Arthur lied. He had no intention to keep that promise.

"Alright then, I'll come back."

They smirked at each other. They both knew it wouldn't end here.

"Thank you, Merlin," Arthur said putting an arm around his friend but then allowing it to slide down to Merlin's bottom.

"Oi!" Merlin laughed. As they walked on, Merlin picked up Arthur's hand to hold. They smiled at each other.

"Merlina will be pleased to see you," Arthur looked at Merlin with his best flirty eyes.

"Still keeping her around, huh?"

"I'll never let that little pain in the neck go." They looked at each other knowingly. Arthur felt Merlin squeeze his hand tighter.

Arthur dreamed of a world in which it was accepted to openly be together with two people. The man he loved and the woman he loved. He wondered why people had created a situation in which one person had to be everything to another. It just wasn't realistic.

Arthur had figured out that Merlin was his survival. What they had was so strong. The feeling was beyond any sense or reason, which is why Arthur could not explain the invisible force pulling him and Merlin together. He felt that he was being true to himself above all else.

As they got back to the house, they dropped hands as they walked back inside.

Arthur slid into bed next to his wife. She was very still and quiet and he knew she must still be awake. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know," she rolled over and ran her hand along his cheek. "I love you too."

ooOoo

The next morning, while the others were all out and about in the village, Arthur had some alone time with Guinevere in the house. As she sat at the table, Arthur stood awkwardly near the door.

"Something has happened, hasn't it?" Guinevere asked as she sipped her tea.

He nodded. She couldn't know what was going on and yet her eyes were filled with such wisdom.

How could he even begin to explain it all to her?

"Arthur, I love you. That means I love all of you. It is not conditional."

"And I love you," his voice cracked.

His beautiful wife walked over to him and held him close.

"Guinevere…"

"Shhhh," she soothed. "Not now."

"How do you know? How _could_ you know?" he asked unsure.

"I know _you_, my love, and I know Merlin. I understand more than you think I could. But we mustn't talk about it all now. There will be time back in Camelot."

"Guinevere, I'm so sorry."

"Arthur, it is alright. A fool could see the way you two feel toward each other. He has needed you and you have been there for him."

"It does not change the way I feel about you."

"I'm secure enough to know that, Arthur. I told you, I understand, please don't feel you have to keep justifying it."

"But, everything I put you through with Lancelot," he felt the tears forming to know he had not shown her the same loyalty she was affording him.

"You must not think about that. You understand what it is now to have feelings for two different people?"

"I do."

"Then we can go on. We understand that things will be different, but change is not always a bad thing. I have endured far too much to worry about sharing you with a beautiful man like Merlin."

Arthur stared at her in shock. He felt his love for her deepen and he knew what she was referring to when she said she loved him unconditionally. He reached down and his lips captured hers in a slow, erotic kiss. How did he get so lucky as to have two people love him so much that they would afford him his heart's desires?

He heard a wolf whistle as Percival walked in with Elyan. "Look at them go," Percival said whistling again.

Arthur and Guinevere parted, laughing. "Stop sucking face with my sister, My Lord," Elyan rolled his eyes at them both good naturedly and they smiled at him.

Arthur gave his wife a grateful look and she gave him back a wink. She had such strength and Arthur found himself falling for her all over again.

ooOoo

As they mounted up the horses, Merlin came out of the house with his bag. "Whose horse will I ride on?"

"You're coming back?" Gwaine asked overjoyed.

"Yep," Merlin grinned widely.

"Come here then, Merlin, you ride with me." Gwaine gave Merlin a hug and then punched him on the shoulder.

The other knights gathered around Merlin cheering and applauding. "It has not been the same without you, my friend," Leon smiled giving Merlin a quick hug.

"What's happening?" Arthur heard Guinevere ask as she returned from the market with some supplies for the road.

"Merlin's coming back to Camelot," Gwaine smiled.

Arthur saw it then. The joy in his wife's face as she dropped her bag to the ground and ran into Merlin's arms. "I'm so pleased, Merlin." She was so genuinely excited and she held him so tight. When her eyes met Merlin's, Arthur saw the expression of love on her face. It was the same way she often looked at Arthur.

Guinevere also loved Merlin!

Arthur was astounded. He smiled over at them both and they looked back at him, their arms around each other.

As they rode back to Camelot, Arthur kept stealing glances at both Merlin and Guinevere. Even if the world could not accept their extraordinary situation, Arthur knew the three of them would work it out together. He was certain of it. Nobody else had to give their blessing or even know about it.

Maybe one day, the world would realise that sharing the love around was as beautiful as sharing the moon with someone you loved. Arthur was glad that he had figured it out already.

More love. How could anyone believe that was wrong?

**The End**


End file.
